Jul 26, 2021
Want to Improve on Your Leadership Qualities? Start With Selfcare with Paul Glover
We all know the right words to say, we figured it out, right? You know what the language is, we say authenticity, we say vulnerability, we say transparency. But when it comes time to actually taking those words and turning them into action. We stumble. People don't want to be seen in a bad light.
I am the No-B.S. Work Performance Coach. I’m based in Chicago but I work with clients throughout the U.S. I am also a “recovering” trial lawyer, an unabashed Starbucks addict, and the author of Workquake™, a book dedicated to those in the work environment seeking to not only survive, but also to thrive in the Knowledge Economy.
In 1994, Paul was a successful federal court trial attorney. In 1995, he was a convicted felon, serving 7 years of incarceration in Federal Prison.
How Paul and his family managed to overcome the personal and professional setback he inflicted on himself and his family and how he built a successful national coaching practice is Paul’s personal case study about overcoming adversity and setbacks through resilience and grit.
Paul’s messages to those who hear him speak is: “we don’t succeed in spite of our losses, but because of them” and “before your life can change, you need to change.”
Through keynotes and workshops, Paul illustrates how those faced with setbacks, either personal or professional, can develop and use resilience, mental toughness and grit to take the challenges they face and transform them into growth opportunities.
Full Transcript Below
Posted Want to Improve on Your Leadership Qualities Start With Selfcare with Paul Glover
Sat, 7/17 7:57PM • 46:47
people, coaching, absolutely, decisions, leader, pandemic, business, day, coaching program, exercise, eat, energy, obligation, part, sleep, person, clients, reach, required, paul
Paul, Roy Barker
Roy Barker 00:01
Hello and welcome to another episode of the business of business podcast. I'm your host Roy of course, we are the show that brings you a wide range of guests talking over a diverse set of topics. What we want to do is try to show you some new and different things that you may be able to use in your business for success. Also, we want to present some professionals in different disciplines that may be able to help you in areas that you know that you're struggling in. And today is no different. We have an awesome guest, Paul Glover, he is a subject matter expert in management and coaching. He has practical experience a sense of humor, and he is a great storyteller. I can vouch for that we can't wait to get into some of his stories. He is the no BS workforce performance coach assisting organizations, team leaders and teams to reach their full potential and become high performing. He's also a recovering trial lawyer. He's an unabashed Starbucks addict, and a Chicago's bears fanatic. He is the author of work quake, which presents 76 strategies and tips to thrive in the knowledge economy, as well as he is a speaker on business and leadership topics and a member of the Forbes coaching Council. Paul, welcome to the show. Thanks for taking time out of your day to be here.
Oh, absolutely. Thank you so much for having me.
Roy Barker 01:21
You bet. You bet. Well, like we've, we've talked a little bit in pre show, I'll probably be the first one under the bus with some topics that we want to talk about, I think, you know, first off, before we get too deep, I just want to talk about, you know, like, how did you find yourself here, I know that you're used to be a lawyer. But now you're doing a lot of coaching with executives and teams. So tell us how that journey has looked?
Well, that journey has been a rough boy, in all honesty, I'm a, I'm a victim of my own, my own inability to walk the straight and narrow. I was a trial lawyer in the city of Chicago for 30 years, representing labor unions and labor and employment law. And during that period of time I, I engaged in some bad business deals, and over a period of time, accumulated enough evidence for the federal government to indict me on 3033 charges of taking bribes and kickbacks. And I slept five and a half years in closing. So I can tell you that that's why I'm a recovering lawyer when I got out. They let me know in no uncertain terms, and I never be able to brag, again. And I and by the way, I absolutely deserved the penalty and drove the time. But when I got out, that career opportunity was gone. And in fact, even though we often tell ourselves the story about once a person has served their time, they're entitled to be back in society and obviously, will be unappropriate and fruitful life. But the reality is that, that x columns are not given that same opportunity. It just is the way we look at people, and rightfully so by the way. So when I got out, I found that, that my career opportunities for a guy who was 52 years old, and a ex felon were extremely limited. But I also had had a reputation as being a hard but fair person, and business relations. And a part of what I did constructing a new career was that I took the prison experience. And by the way, I don't suggest anybody follow this course of action or want to go to prison to figure out what you want to do with the rest of your life. But I took that experience, and the lessons that I had learned with that experience, and I put it together as a part of a coaching program. And I tell people that much well be upfront, transparent about who you are and what your experiences have been, because of this new concept we call Google. Right? So anybody who wants to know my past, has no problem finding it out. So rather than try to hide from it, I decided to embrace it. And I began to reach out to people that I know to tell them that that I was now doing coaching. And fortunately, I was contacted by some good businesses that I'd done business with on the other side of the table in negotiations, that offered me the opportunity to engage in coaching. And from that, gosh, that's 2001. From that I've developed a national coaching program with primarily clients and distribution and manufacturing. Okay, so yeah, so They, like I said, I believe that everybody owns their scars. And with every scar, you should also learn a lesson. Because those scars are painful, right? And you don't want to forget them, you don't want to ignore them, you want to incorporate that into who you are, and how we interact with other people will often want to run away from our scars and want to cover a month to get to have them go in a mile see them? The reality is, they are, they are an inherent part of who we are. And they dictate what we're going to do and how we're going to interact with other people.
Roy Barker 05:36
Wow, what a story. And we appreciate you sharing that. I know, the transparency and just the honesty. I mean, that is it's very refreshing. And like you said, it's with Google, it's hard to hard to hide, so we better just embrace it and figure out how to move forward and again, applaud you for not, you could have took the other course and said, Well, I can't ever do that again. So now there's, you know, nothing for me. But you've kind of taken that and made a break for yourself and got got out here and built a great coaching practice.
And you write it and by the way, we it's interesting to me because obviously, I interact in the coaching process with business leaders. And we all know the right words to say, we figured it out, right? You know what the language is, we say authenticity, we say vulnerability, we say transparency. But when it comes time to actually taking those words and turning them into action, you stumbled with that, and rightfully so, people don't want to be seen in a bad light between the reality is we believe the value of those words, we have to live those words and how we conduct ourselves professionally and personally.
Roy Barker 06:51
Well, and I would assume that the same needs to be said to your clients, as well as anybody that really wants to take that next step. And you know, if we really truly want to get better every day at what we do, decisions that we make, we first have to be, we have to be very in tune with who we are now, we have to be honest about who we are and where we are. Because you know, we'll use social media as an example. You never see people, very few people taking pictures of the hard times. And when things go bad. It's always every you know, we just got a new new yard in the new helicopter and a new plane. And it's just, you know, we don't know what is real and what is not. So I think in some respects, this has made it even harder for us to admit that, you know, we do have shortcomings we all do. I think everybody could get better in some way every day. Absolutely. And you're absolutely correct. I
think that self improvement, and becoming a good leader all starts with yourself. Yeah. If you're not honest with yourself, and you don't control your yourself as a as an authentic person. But then people aren't people know that. By the way, it's always interesting to me that we think we're hiding who we are from people. And you can get away with that, that some of the times I mean, PT Barnum actually ever saying about that, right? You can fool some of the people some of the time and some of the people all the time, but you can't fool all the people all the time. Right? Exactly. And why would you want to. And so, you know, and by the way, that that's why the my approach, which you can tell is very direct. That's why the no BS, right? get plugged into how I go myself, I'm going to bring that attitude, if I'm going to be honest with you and direct with you, and authentic with you. In the coaching process, I expect that commitment from the person who's being pushed out. Without that we can't develop trust. And if we don't have trust, we don't have a relationship. We can't be open with each other. So to me, it's, it's, it's something that not only should we talk about, we should also use an act in every engagement.
Roy Barker 09:09
Well, and it's an energy drain, like you said, we can fool some of the people some of the time, but we can't fill everybody all the time. But in some respects, it's like keeping up a lot. So like what did we say, you know, and it's, it's a huge expense of energy. I can only imagine and it's, you know, at some point, I think especially as as you get older and you kind of maybe lose that ego a little bit and you feel like you've lived enough life that you are who you are and you recognize that it's like there's a it's like there's a weight that's lifted off of your shoulders and it's just very freeing when you can finally reach that point
when you're actually right and obviously quizzing beat the bad ego out of me and taught me some lessons that I never learned and that was awesome. You know Right and, and coming to the realization that I made mistakes. And by the way, I tell people that were self inflicted injuries, nobody else did it to me, I would love to blame somebody else. And I did for a while, I think I'd been spent the first year and a half in prison, trying to figure out how to get even with those people that I thought had put me in prison. But most of the time, we are responsible for our own situation. I recognize that no, you can be struck by lightning, it's not your fault. But the reality is that that's that's the rarity. In our day to day business opportunities. We are often solely responsible or mostly responsible for a situation, the sooner we come to grips with that, the better we are able to change that situation. Rather than continue to be in the grips of either regret or with that. Yeah, I because I had plenty of time to look at the regrets. And I had plenty of time to think about revenge. It was only when I got over those, and started thinking about how to take that in those lessons that that I had to learn, believe me, if I had not gone to prison, I will be dead. There's no question about it. I was headed down that path. And it really did save my life, then that's so odd for people to hear that. It wasn't it was a good thing. In that respect. Yeah. And I'm a much better person now than it was when I went to prison. And all I can tell you is that I don't want anybody to have to go through that experience or the lesson. But I also don't want anybody not to learn the lessons. Right?
Roy Barker 11:36
Exactly. And one thing, I think that where you got my attention is something that we don't talk about a lot during the coaching is the health aspect of as people as leaders, and actually, I think it's, you know, the caricature of the hard drink and hard smoke and hard living guy. And, you know, that just lasts so long. And like you said, you end up getting yourself in the jam when you live that kind of life. But let's just talk about the health aspects that we need to have to get up and be the best performer every day.
Well, and first, you're actually correct that that is a topic that that is often overlooked. The pandemic has given us the chance to talk about wellbeing for our work team. And I absolutely believe that that's required. But I also tell people in the coaching program, that self care is required before you can take care of someone else. Before you can take care of your team, you have to take care of yourself. And again, we all know what that means. There was no one that is in the coaching program. And when I talked to them about what that means they can they can tell me, the problem is once again, taking what we know, and 20 that into action, right. And of course, self care to me is very simple. I'm pretty, I'm not become simple. I don't believe we should complicate our lives. And I certainly don't believe we should complicate our interaction with others that is creates confusion. So when we start talking about self care, I immediately go to the fact that there is an obligation on the part of a team leader to do the best they can. As that team leader, it's an obligation in first it's a privilege to be a leader. I know that sometimes the leaders leaders start to think that they got there on their own. There's nobody gets their own their own, I'm sorry. Friends and organization, there's a team, there's support for that person who's allowed them to move up the corporate ladder of business ladder and be successful, right? So so the obligation is now to take care of that team. But that obligation requires you first take care of yourself. And physically, that means very few things, but very important thing. The first thing is you need you need to get your sleep. And by the way, I'm a research geek. I love the research. And the research shows that if you're not getting enough sleep, you will get up in the morning and you will be as if you were drunk. Well, I'm not seeing too many drugs make really good decisions. So most of them go to jail based on one's decision. So let's not do that. In fact, let's accept the fact that we are a physical being connected to a metal beam. And we need to treat the physical being appropriately so that mentally we are clear and strong. But we got to sleep, you got to get through it. And when I when I'm in the coaching process, I talked to the person I'm coaching about them. And if they don't believe that I send them the research read this. It's not just me, it's been a sample. So let's talk about that. happening. And sometimes we have to talk about the sleep environment. I mean, I go that deep with people, right, I need to know that when you go to bed at night, you got to get a good night's sleep, which is not shutting your eyes. So Sleep Number One second one exercise. And the biggest pushback, I get to exercises, I don't have enough time. And the reality is, it's the exercise that allows you to actually become more energetic, and to establish the focus and discipline you need to get through the day. And we are as leaders, we are decision makers, we don't do the work anymore, right? The whole concept is we make the decisions that impact the people that do the work, right, you have to be sharp. So the reality is you need to be in an exercise program. And and that requires long winded you have an exercise, I absolutely believe that most leaders need to have a coach that works with them, to make them physically, appropriately physical. So it's only that number two, and by the way, that also happens during the day, I understand somebody believes that they can sit at their desk for four hours at a sweat, you're not in college anymore, you're not cramming overnight for the towel, guess what, get up during the day and, and move around. Right. And the third thing very simply is diet, what you eat, and what you drink absolutely impacts your ability to perform. And I tell people, when you go out that night, you know, and you eat that big meal, and you have two bottles of wine. And next morning, you got an important meeting. You're the skunk in the room. Right? Right, if what they say when they had, if you don't know, when you're in a card game, you don't know who the sucker is, it's you hear when I look at that I go, you are the sucker you have set yourself up not to be able to reach your potential in that moment. And you fail, you failed yourself and you failed your team. So So guess what, let's be realistic about this. Obviously, if you want to go on the weekend and do whatever you want to do, that's okay with me. I'm not telling you that live like a monk. But I'm telling you that if you are seriously concerned about being a high performer, and being the leader of a high performance working, these are these aspects of that job are absolutely required and failing to recognize that is failing and your obligation. And I don't want to look at that I will I believe that if you want people to engage with you and your organization that requires a commitment on your part, that that well allows them to see that you are serious about that level of engagement. And often we don't see it in people. So So certainly I and again, I know that obviously, you know, you push the button, and I start to sound like I'm preaching it because this is something people need to hear. And I'm passionate. By the way, I love it. I've got I've got six to seven people that I will talk to daily in a coaching program. And not one of them that from the first one to the last one wants to think that I am not giving them my undivided attention, that I'm not in the moment that I'm not not listening, and that I'm not going to help them. So when I get to that number seven, that list, and I haven't taken care of myself, I don't have anything left, right, I figured that out. My obligation is to do that. So I love these rules. And I believe that anyone who wants to be a great leader and a good team leader.
Roy Barker 18:48
Yeah, and I think it's almost a three legged stool, and I'll speak for myself and this is where I you know, kind of jokingly said earlier, this is where I knew I would fall under the bus because I you know, I tend to I tend to fail in this area in many respects. But, you know, it starts out with that sleep, if I don't get a good enough sleep, I don't feel like exercising. If I don't exercise, then I want to eat to fill that time up. And it takes me being hitting on all three cylinders, to use that terminology. But I have to hit on all three of these to really be in the zone if I just fought because, you know, you go out and eat a big ol you know, a Italian lunch. And then what do you want to eat? Just want to take a nap in the afternoon. You're just like, oh, if if I can just get home where I can sit on the couch. You know, so we just really have to pay very close attention to these details.
Why you're absolutely right. And by the way, it just this requires focus and discipline. But But I don't understand someone who wants the leadership position but isn't willing To do this, it is difficult. By the way, being a leader is a hard job. Yeah. And you've got to, you know, it's as if you were an athlete, right. And I look at that, and I go, if you're an athlete, you're training. And that's so huge. And we just have to do it on a daily basis, we're not allowed to train for five days. And Good day, we're required to perform everyday, right. But that requires that we be prepared for that physically prepared, so that we're mentally sharp. And, and so I don't have a lot of columns that people aren't willing to make that commitment. By the way, my coaching for him, obviously, if you're not willing to do those commitments, I tell you, you need to find somebody else, right. Because if we start talking about you getting better, I need to know that the basis is in place for that to be possible. Otherwise, whatever you accomplish will be temporary, it will fade away, because, you know, leadership and leadership is developing the right habits. And and those habits are first have to be put in place. And then they have to stay in place until you don't even think about, you know, my contention. And again, I'm constantly talking about myself, because I have the same difficulty everybody else, right? exercise in the morning, I'm up at five o'clock. And my exercise goals are right next to the bed. I don't think about this. Because if I start thinking about and I'm going to I'm going to go to the computer, turn it on and read my 200 emails. Right, I'm not going to go to the gym. Right? And and so so I thought I'd make this a habit, right, I get up, I get dressed, and I go do it out of the way. I also believe that this this having these habits and these disciplines, eliminate decision fatigue. We shouldn't be having decisions about this. Oh, we should we should automatically I think about President Obama. He had one color suit. He never be in When asked why? He said, because all I have to do is put it on right. I don't have to think is it the right color? On my tie. And I thought you know what, I heard that I said, Now that's a guy that's figured it out, right? By the way, nobody ever ever thought to ask him what are you so doll you only wear black. He wore the suit in and I would suggest that that leaders have to be like that eliminate the distractions, focus and discipline. And suddenly you find that you're much better at your job, by the way, it doesn't make your job easier. It just makes you better. Yeah.
Roy Barker 22:42
Yeah, it's funny, you bring that up, because me and me and Terry, were just having that conversation the other day about the I was just telling her, you know, when we start going back to the office all the time, I said, I'm just gonna get me khaki colored pants and a blue shirt, you know, have one for every day of the week. And I was explaining that to her about this decision fatigue. And I mean, it's a real thing. I mean, we have decisions flying at us all the time. So if we can eliminate, I don't know, 10% of those by just streamlining and having processes in place. And yeah, another one you kind of caught me on there was that, you know, looking at your phone first thing in the morning, because I've fallen into that bad habit too. You know, when the alarm goes off, you roll over and you kind of scroll through the headlines of the emails. And you know, next thing I'm know she's trying to hustle me out of bed and saying, You're laying there too long Get up, let's get moving. So you know, again, I can speak from experience. These are real, productive killers.
Absolutely. And you know, and look, I have to be realistic about a couple of things first, why don't I time and energy? Often, and people always, by the way, I've been doing this for 30 years. And I can tell you the time management, whatever that means, is still a relevant topic with every leader, right talk to so so the concept that we only have so much time, I don't care if it's 24 seven, but also we only have so much energy, right? That's where people forget the connection. They believe that they put two hours in on a project that it's the best use of their time, it's the best use of their time, but it may not be the best use of their energy, because the focus may be completely different. So anything that drains your energy, and by the way, I go back to the matrix. Right? You every human being was a battery. And and when you get up in the morning, hopefully the way you treated your body, your battery is now at full charge, right? We get up you've had your sleep, you didn't abuse yourself, even your braking. And guess what, we're ready to go we get our exercise and by the way, exercise and weight, not a people, some of them somehow get the impression That exercising is a energy reducer, I would tell you that it's absolutely not when there's an energy induce Yeah. And so suddenly you're ready for the day. But during the day, because of all the decisions, and all of the activities, we start to be drained. That's why I said, You can't just believe you don't have to recharge during the day. What is recharging look like your first you actually set it, don't go out and eat, just make lunch and think that once all the blood goes through your head to your stomach, you're going to be making good decisions, right? It's not going to happen. I don't go out and have a beer on Sorry, I had that. You know what, you should drink your water? Oh, man, you're so boring. Yeah, I am. However, I'm very productive. Right? I would suggest that drinking your water and then getting up every 90 minutes and doing a walk, just walk up, you get outside even better. Clear your head, recharge your battery. Everybody knows about the three o'clock slump. You know, I hate that that is just when we have run out our batteries run down, right? What are we going to do here? Are we just going to continue to go up to the move as if we still are at a high energy level? We're not. So So the reality is, when you start thinking about how you're making the decisions and the work you're doing, you have to do a time energy audit. Every client that I have that, I want you to do a 24 hour audit, and I want you to look at it 30 minute segments. And within that 30 minutes, what did you do? And what was your energy level? Okay. And by train, and by the way, everybody tells me I know, I know how much time I spend? No, you don't. You're just thinking, and we trick ourselves all the time, right? But within that 30 minutes, I will be working with my clients. I said, Wait a minute, let's look at this distraction. Should you have taken that task? What Why are you taking your call instead of having clutching your decision making right like emails? Were queasy about emails as Pavlovian dog? I mean, the email comes in. And of course, we have a notification notification. How would you like to be in a coaching session we'll meet and hear the notification on my phone? No, no, no, I don't need that. And neither do you. Focus time is huge. And we struggled to get it but we absolutely need it. So So I run people through the 24 hour audit, we look at where their energy is high and energy is low, and we start to move their task around. Because there are some low energy tasks that you can do when you're low energy and they get done. Okay, you know, the mundane administrative just about non decision making tasks, right. And we want to bunch those when your energy level is low. Makes sense? I would think I'm gonna when I say By the way, I said earlier, I never let my clients be sentenced in the afternoon. Because the judges sentencing in the afternoon when they're tired and cranky. Yeah. Is more severe. Interesting. Oh, absolutely. You want to get the judge at 10 o'clock in the morning. He may be you may be mean, but but he's gonna definitely give you a better set than the one at three o'clock. Good to know. Have to Yeah, right, exactly. As you're listening. They do. And their attorney says we'll we'll be there three go, Well, no, no, tell him I escaped. Anyway, so so I've got a program and as a part of the coaching program that most coaches don't address they were looking at, they believe that that's something that the person's responsibility. And by the way, it's the person's responsibility to carry through. But for the most part, I need at least to make you aware that these things matter. The By the way, it's interesting when I connect it to the obligation to the team, because we look at what we eat or drink is a personal decision. It's the impact that I'm interested in. And when I say you are having a negative impact on your team, because you're not at your level of potential performance, by the way, you're also the mob. Your team looks at you and when they see that you've got bad habits. They believe it's okay for them to have
Roy Barker 29:47
interesting Yeah, well
I have one of my things with a with a leader is never let your bad day because it becomes somebody else's bad.
Roy Barker 29:55
Oh my gosh, yeah, that's, you know, when we were talking about sleep, that was one thing. I was going to say back then was that, you know, just for myself, if I don't get a good night's sleep, I know that I'm much more irritable. My patients are, you know, even for simple things. And again, you start hitting me with five or six decisions, rapid fire that need to be made, it's just a lot more difficult if you're not rested, recharged and ready to, you know, take on the day.
Absolutely. So not only you do make worse decisions, but you also overreact to the person who bought that issue to you. And, and there's no reason to do that. Like I said, there's an obligation here, and a part of this is the self care, we're talking. Right. So so I think that that's a part of any coaching program should be not I don't understand why it's not, because you can't separate the physical from the method, right? And you're bringing it out with you, what do you call it, they say, you bring in your meat sack to work in you gotta you got to make sure that you're you're ready to go. So anyway, I know that I've harped on it. But But I think that it's something that people often ignore, when they start talking about performance. Yeah. Because we just believe that we can we raise ourselves and still be a high performer and the physicality is, can't happen. Sorry. I don't care who you are, you cannot overcome the physical disabilities that you've placed on yourself. Right. So stop thinking you can't. So anyway, that that's, that's the self care. And extremely important, especially now with a pandemic. Everybody needs an I think perfect. Everybody decided it was okay to get back. Right. pandemic pounds.
Roy Barker 31:41
I deserve to eat more tonight is the pandemic that was big. Oh my god, Stop saying that. The average increase in weight is 1.5 pounds per month now. I will Okay, we've been at this for a year have you actually put on another 12 hours? No, we bake the cookies. Don't eat the cookies. Yeah,
Roy Barker 32:06
I must say I was an overachiever. in that category. I probably brought that average up. It was probably under one until they average me in there and I brought it up.
By the way, I've got four granddaughters and every one of them decided they were going to bake. Right and I we had stuff coming. Every day there be a kid cookies. And I was like, oh crap. And of course my wife is gonna at least eat supper. You gotta tell him it's okay. all celebrate. Anyway, so so yeah. And and, and by the way, we make this reinsertion. If you want to be the leader, you have got to be willing to do the tough stuff. Personally, that qualifies you. That's a part of the gig.
Roy Barker 32:53
Yeah, and it's really, it's, it's really not something you can feel sorry for people for because if they do these things, they're gonna feel better anyway, you're not gonna you're not gonna feel bad. So it's like, I'm just trying to help you. Even if you don't even do anything better in business, you just will feel better as a human being for sure.
There is that personal aspect of feeling good, right? And some guys that I talked to were like, no, I'm sorry, I'm not going to give it. Okay. How do I know that Excel, we talked about what the outcome what we're coaching for is performance improvement. And so once we, once we've established that conversation, you've told me, I'm not gonna, I'm sorry, I enjoy drinking. I have a couple of drinks. And I mean, I really hit it hard. Okay. So So let's talk about what we're going to try to accomplish as improvements. And what he tells me when that person tells me what they want, I go, alright, first, I'm not gonna let you be unrealistic. You can't do that, right? You just had the old guy can No, you can't. I'm telling you. It's not physically you're not physically capable. And we have the argument. And by the way, I, part of my coaching processes, I believe I have to have skin in the game. So 50% of my compensation is banned. That means that once you and I have agreed upon the outcome of the coaching process, then if we don't reach it, I don't get that 50% Wow. Oh, y'all get your call? I can't I have one page. Now. In fact, I like 12 months because I know how long it takes people to get into this thing and read the series about it. But at the end of that 12 month period, I am willing to risk 50% of my compensation on the outcome, because I believe that I have to make that commitment. Brent, do you? That's awesome. Yeah, that way it is. Yeah, it is. It is awesome. Yeah, I absolutely believe that. That it's the way you should coach Yeah. Because I I truly believe that if I'm asking for commitment on the other side, I have to have a commitment. And so we do that now. But But I also tell people, if you walk through the right thing, and we don't achieve the outcome. don't penalize me. Yes. Because you've chosen not to do it, right. And accountability is a huge part of this. So with that, with that in mind, people can look at it differently. And then, of course, they're very surprised. I'm willing to make that type of commitment. But but it just seems the right thing to do to me. And, and so far, it's worked out. Well, obviously, I'm not in rags. So we're ready. We're ready. Oh, by the way, reason, I don't know. 100% is I don't trust you until I know you. Anyway, so So yeah, that's, that's that's the self care aspect.
Roy Barker 35:52
Yeah. All right. Well, I certainly do appreciate you taking time out of your day to be with us. And I'd go over self care is our any other? Are there any other points that you want to hit? Before we wrap up?
You know that that's pretty much it. By the way, I obviously we've had a truck here, and everybody has struggled with these issues. And I have to I have to say that, that. Normally, you know, I'm pretty hardcore, because I am a performance coach, not a life coach. But I have had to, I have had to take into consideration the fact that people are struggling in ways that they weren't struggling to grasp, right. So empathy has got to be part of the process. everyone listens to me. Oh, my God, I wouldn't want you to be my close. Because, holy crap. Well, you don't sound like you care. And my, my response to that is, I have much more empathetic than I was because the circumstances absolutely demanded. But but they only demand it up until up to a point, right? I am. And once we reach that point, that I do care, and that's why I do things the way I do. I tell people that I make my living by telling people the truth. And but I also believe the truth is, again, I need to hear the truth. And I need to have people hear the truth for me. Otherwise, I would not be in the in the coaching profession. Right. And I also always ended with a one thing I do a daily, I couldn't score those points of the day. That goes out to all of my clients. And and one of the one out today was give more than you take. And I believe that that's the coaching process is that I am required to give more than you think The curious thing is not applies to the client. Right. So anyway, that's that's all part of the relationship.
Roy Barker 37:49
Yeah. And I think that's a good you know, that's something that's just good to live by, in general, if we always will give more and not expect something in return, it always comes back to us tenfold. So
it does, unfortunately I'm at home, I'll be quiet about this. Johnny go Pirates of the Caribbean. I don't know if you watch it, I find it funny and amusing and fun to watch. The pirate code was taken all give nothing back. And unfortunately, I believe that that's something that we fight in versus we should be giving more than we take. But we have this these metrics that require we try to take it all right. So hopefully we're going through this transition in the in the work world that is allowing us to see things differently. For instance, we're shifting from shareholder value to stakeholder value. And that is truly starting to recognize that we owe something to the stakeholders, employees or to the community. So so I think that we were in that transition, and hopefully that the pirate code is not going to be how we go. Yeah,
Roy Barker 38:59
yeah. And I was lucky to go through some corporate training lists probably 40 years ago, where that that was when it was finally being pointed out that, you know, there has to be a win win situation, you may take it all and you might be the winner one time, but you're never going to get that person back to the table. So if it's a good relationship, you want to, you know, we've got to entice it to be Win Win so we can bring everybody back to the table again. And anyway, those are I was lucky to have some good, some good people that I was surrounded with, you know, when I was a young young manager, they brought me up that taught me some great lessons in life. So
that is a great lesson because you're absolutely right. Our relationship shift should not be one and done. Right? Most of them aren't by the way the people that what do they say the people that you pass I mean up the ladder are the same people who passed away down the reality is yeah that you didn't look at the interview, by the way, I think we are good. And as much as back back to my deal about when you take those scars, I believe that the pandemic has given us an opportunity to re examine the workplace and the relationship, right. And I hope that that screw, that there has been a mental shift, and a recognition of the value of the central workers. Something that I think we ignored in the past until suddenly we realized how important they were for our didn't drop away. But anyway, it remains to be seen. But I believe that the window of opportunity is now here, granted us by the pandemic. And if we you know, there's too many saying maybe the crisis is a terrible thing to waste. Exactly. Yes.
Roy Barker 40:51
Yeah, we need to turn it around and look at it as a chance for an opportunity to start fresh, do things a little bit different when we get to regroup? So tell me, Paul, what is a tool or habit? What is something that you do in your daily life, either professionally, or personally, the one that really adds a lot of value?
Well, that's a great question. And second, I haven't read the answer, okay. Because I, when I get back from, from my exercising, I get, I bring my car back into the garage, I get out, I walk to Starbucks, it's a block and a half away. And I'm gonna pick up coffee spot 45 in the morning, that walk there is when I do my gratitudes It is so easy to get caught up in how difficult our life can be and how hard we have to work. And the setbacks that we have to endure. They're inevitable, we have to, we have to ignore them. I structure my mind about the gratitudes the good things in my life. So in the car driving, they're driving to the gym, I saved my daily prayer. And that sets my mind, right, because it's all about how grateful I am for what God has given me. And it by the way, I have a lot to be grateful for. I mean, seriously, I would like to present God out still had a family have been able to create a career that that is good for me. And in good problems. I think that I give back in a different way. And I think I have an obligation to give back. But when I walk to Starbucks, I start with my grandchildren. Because my kids, my family is where I am so grateful. And I remind myself of that. And I think that everybody needs to start the day off with gratitude. I'm not telling you what you should be grateful for. But that habit puts a positivity spin on your day that you need. Otherwise, the bacon days look really rocks on. You got to realize your mind told me that it looks positive. That's how I
Roy Barker 43:07
know that's good advice. And I say this quite often that, you know, my priest has told me that, you know, our mind is like a grinder grinder 24 seven, we get to choose what it grinds. And you know, I think about that when, you know, you bump into these roadblocks during the day instead of getting upset. You know, think about the three other things that have gone right. And you know, how lucky you are to be having, you know, this problem there could be there's a lot of people have a lot of worse problems out there. So always easily, always something to be thankful for.
Oh, absolutely. If you can't find something to be thankful for. You really do need to set out there need a call? Yeah. Right. Yeah. And I think that you're looking for that. I would hope that everybody looks for that and other people. Yeah. You know, it's so it's so easy to see the negative, just because we're presented with an offer. But for us to have that interaction, we need to also see the positive. Right. And that I liked the way you said that I want to steal it.
Roy Barker 44:04
Yeah, yeah. Yeah. No, I did. I told him I use that all the time. I think it's really good.
Yeah, that's a good one. Yeah, I like that. Right. I am. So anyway, yeah. Well, yeah. That's that that's that level of positivity that.
Roy Barker 44:19
Well, Paul, tell people, you know, who is your ideal client? What can you do for them? And of course, how can they reach out and get a hold of you?
Obviously, I operate with businesses, not necessarily individuals, not that I don't have a few individuals. They have to be business leaders. That doesn't mean that they have to be so far up the corporate ladder, but they obviously have to be able to afford the feet I still have a family. So I charge. Normally it is organizations that hire me, and then work with the people from mid level management all the way to the C suite. And I also do a group coaching. Okay, so it's always someone I President might hire me to work with their management team, okay, and I'll work individually with them but also work with them as a group, because what we're doing here is is building teams. So that's why that's why my clients tell us again, it's not that I wouldn't work in any industry but my, my approach is so direct that there are some industries like hospitality, that have some difficulty with my approach, it's just a little bit too hard. Now distribution or manufacturing or my sweet spot, and I specialize in family businesses, okay, they're as dysfunctional as mine. Yes, they are. Yeah. So I can log just fine with that. And I can be reached at nothing originally are called Pauel Glover Coaching.com. And also LinkedIn, Paul Glover Coaching. And let's see, where else can you go. I've got a YouTube channel, of course, Paul Glover Coaching.
Roy Barker 45:55
Okay. All right. Yeah. And we'll include all those in the show notes. So, Paul, thank you so much for your time. It's been a pleasure speaking. And until next time, good. We wish you well. Well, thank
you. Do you and your Do you and your subscribers? Alright, thanks.
Roy Barker 46:13
So that's gonna do it for another episode of the business of business podcast. You can of course find us at www.the business of business podcast.com. We are also on also on all the major social media networks. A video of this interview will go up when it goes live as well. We are also on all the major podcast platforms iTunes, Stitcher, Google Spotify, if we're not a one that you listen to. please reach out I'd be glad to get it added. So until next time, thank you for listening. Take care of yourself and take care of your business.